The Essence of Chaos
by lesleywhite79
Summary: While Ian Malcolm recovers from the events at Isla Sorna, he and Sarah Harding begin getting close. Although both of them know that a romance is unlikely and inconvenient, neither can control the emotions that catch them by surprise.
1. Memories

**Plot**: While Ian Malcolm recovers from the events at Isla Sorna, he and Sarah Harding begin getting close. Although both of them know that a romance is unlikely and inconvenient, neither can control the emotions that catch them by surprise.

**Disclaimer**: All characters and ideas belong to Michael Crichton. I am not making any money of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.

Ian Malcolm mumbled incoherently. He twisted in the hospital bed, the sheets crumpling beneath him. In his dream, he saw himself falling - rushing through blackness toward the front of the trailer, the windshield speeding toward him. A tyrannosaurus roared like thunder in the background. Lightning flashing and then he lay gasping for breath on the wet grass on the cliff. The stars twinkling and Sarah telling him she would have to clean his wound. Her voice, soft and gentle, soothed him and kept him conscious.

And then he was awake. The mix of anesthesia and morphine made his mind fuzzy, and his movements slow. He turned on to his side and saw a young woman in her early thirties sleeping in a hard plastic chair. She had short black hair that fell over her forehead on to her cheek.

A nurse entered, adjusted Malcolm's IV and checked his chart. "How are you feeling?" he asked through a thick Spanish accent.

"I think I need more morphine..." Ian mumbled. The nurse laughed and shook his head. Sarah Harding frowned.

Malcolm looked at her blankly. "Have you heard about Richard?"

Richard hadn't stopped complaining about his possible DX infection the whole way to Puerto Cortes. He was practically hyperventilating by the time they reached the hospital. Malcolm seriously doubted that his fears were justified.

"They had a lot of questions about the source of infection," she said, yawning, "But they don't see anything wrong. They've taken a blood sample."

"And Arby?"

"He needed blood, nearly thirty stitches, and to see a dentist. They think he'll be fine now, though."

Malcolm nodded weakly.

It was nearly midnight. They had arrived at hospital early in the morning, and Malcolm had been rushed almost immediately in to surgery. Doctors thought they had rectified the problem and prevented infection but they wouldn't know for a few days.

He presumed that Thorn and Kelly had returned home. Richard would need to spend the night for sure, and Arby would probably stay for a few days in recovery. Perhaps Kelly would stay with him...

Sarah yawned again.

"You're tired, you should go home." He said, closing his own eyes and leaning his head against the bed's wooden background. It felt very cold. He probably had a fever.

"The earliest flight is tomorrow night. I called the airport while you were sleeping. " she paused for a moment, "Besides, I wouldn't want to leave you here alone."

"Richard is here..."

"For the moment. But the instant he realizes he's in no danger he will be on the first flight back to the Santa Fe."

Malcolm waved his hand irritably, signaling her to stop talking.

It was a times like these that Sarah really disliked Malcolm. He had the ability to be intelligent and deep, as well as charming and funny – but the majority of the time he concealed it effectively by being an egotistical asshole.

It was when Malcolm was at his best that Sarah sometimes felt a flutter of her old love for him. And sometimes, when she looked deeply into his eyes at the right moment, she could see a flicker of the same feelings in his dark expression.

But this was not one of those moments. If it weren't for the fact that he was so heavily sedated and in obvious pain, she would have said something about it. But as it was, she remained silent, letting out a long sigh.

Once again, Malcolm fell into menacing dreams. Memories flickered before him – of sitting in the heat of the high hide waiting for Sarah to arrive, of being alone in the trailer consumed by euphoria of the morphine and breathing in the scent of sulfur, and of laying on the raft floating down the river to the nearest town...


	2. Morphine

**Plot**: While Ian Malcolm recovers from the events at Isla Sorna, he and Sarah Harding begin getting close. Although both of them know that a romance is unlikely and inconvenient, neither can control the emotions that catch them by surprise.

**Disclaimer**: All characters and ideas belong to Michael Crichton. I am not making any money of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.

Sun filtered in through the vertical blinds at the Puerto Cortes hospital. Ian Malcolm sat up in his bed and watched the clouds drift slowly past the window. He thought about extinction, about InGen, about Levine, and about how he wished he had more damn morphine.

A night's sleep had done well to clear his head. The sights and sounds of the island were stating to fade, but the pain in his leg was a constant reminded of his repeated mistake. He probably had an infection, but no one had been in to check on him since the night before. He wondered where Sarah was. Perhaps she had gone home after all.

Malcolm tried not to think about it. His problems seemed easier when Sarah was around for some reason. He had first noticed that while laying in a hospital bed much like this one, while she had helped him recover from his first dinosaur induced injury.

Sarah sat in the McDonalds down the street from the hospital nursing a coffee. It tasted like shit, not that she'd been expecting much.

But she had needed to get out of the hospital room, if even for a few minutes. Sarah had always hated hospitals. Even animal hospitals such as her father had worked at. And it pained her to watch Ian in so much distress. There were too many suppressed feelings threatening to escape.

The room became more crowded as it drew closer to breakfast time, and Sarah gathered up her bag to return to the hospital. She needed to check on Arby. God knows Levine wouldn't take care of him.

"You're still here." Malcolm didn't open his eyes until after he'd spoken the words. He knew it was Sarah, he could tell by the gentleness in which she'd closed the door, and the fact that she was tiptoeing so as not to wake him. The nurses showed no such consideration.

"Did you think I'd leave? I told you I wouldn't." Sarah fell back into the plastic chair beside his bed. It was obvious he had just been given more morphine.

Malcolm remained silent.

"They're releasing Richard. His blood test came back totally normal." She didn't sound surprised.

Malcolm turned his head to look at her. "You've seen Doctor Gutierrez?"

Sarah nodded.

"He hasn't been in to see me since I arrived. And I think this damn leg is infected."

Sarah frowned. She didn't doubt the possibility of an infection in his leg – this hospital wasn't known for its sterilization and the wound had been dirty when they arrived. But she also knew how to best deal with Ian and his paranoia. Sometimes he was just as bad as Richard.

"He'll probably be in this afternoon." She said, forcing her voice to sound unconcerned. "But I'll mention it to the day nurse. I'm sure she could check it out for you."

Malcolm nodded, closing his eyes. Sarah was saying something to him, but her voice was growing fainter. The morphine was in full effect now.

Floating before him he saw crystals forming. In his mind, he saw the lifeline of the human species, natural selection as Darwin intended. Earth, through its many stages. Species evolving and going extinct. The complex patterns that surrounded everyday life.

These images and ideas floated around him even as blackness threatened to take over. They were such a welcome change from the memories he was forced to relive during most of his sleep.

Malcolm managed to push sleep away for an hour before finally succumbing to the wave of exhaustion that overtook him.


End file.
